Happy New Year!

Happy 2011. 

It is a new year with big changes.

David is done with school! He is graduated. With a degree. And not leaving for 6 months at time without me. It feels good. It is so comforting to have him home. The first couple days were hard, really hard. But each day we find new rhythms, things to joke about, feel safer and grow back into the unit we were. He has been traveling the last two years. When he first came home, he felt like a best friend and a stranger all at the same time. The kind of stranger who has seen you naked, heard you fart, listened to your bad jokes, smelled your morning breath, seen you at your prettiest and your worst but who gives you butterflies and you have to search for the right words to say.  It is disconcerting and comforting all at the same time.

This year I will graduate.  We will move back to Portland. Which brings up questions.  I want to do nursing in an emergency department. Most ED's have new grad programs.  They hire a new grad, train you and pay for your certifications.  This also means that you have to make a time commitment to that hospital. This is usually 2-3 years long.

  Our families are in Portland and at some point we want to start a family. So do we make Portland our "home base"?  For years we have only ever considered buying a home outside of the US but these days making a home in Portland sounds smart.  The fear is putting down roots and not leaving or traveling again. 

A home for me is something that I long for. It is hard to invest emotionally and financially in making a building a home if it is temporary. I like to have something strong to stand on. I have been tested in this since David and I have been married. 

He is comfortable being a different place every couple months. A home is where he is. It is not contained in a building or a place. He can use any surface as a diving board. I like to use something firm I can jump off of. 

I want to travel. I even want to spend years outside of the US with our children someday.  But I have a deep desire to create and nest. To have a place to call my own. A place that is all ours. I want to paint and make holes in the walls and change the flooring. I want to invite people into our home. I want to have a permanent guest room for friends and family. Hostessing gives me joy. I have missed it since being in nursing school. :)

So what to do?

The answer isn't clear. But we are both praying and trying to be open to each other's ideas, perspectives and thoughts.

David and I are going to take a trip together when I am done with school.  Originally I wanted to backpack through Europe, exploring old churches, museums and coffee shops.  Not exactly what David was hoping for. So we compromised and thought of places that we would both like to go. Somewhere far away. Somewhere different. Somewhere we can find things to eat. We decided on Thailand tentatively. Have you been there? Have you been somewhere else that you would suggest?

I will save Europe for a girls trip or maybe tag along with my dad one year.

Little updates, big changes ahead.

xo