This phase of our life is a little different than the past.
David and I have time together. We spend most nights hanging out, as opposed to most nights in different states.
We are not merely scraping by. We do not have to wait to get groceries until the paycheck comes through at midnight.
I am not a part of the walking dead. I actually have time to see my family and friends. I have time to just sit and talk.
After surviving for so many years, we are finally living. It is a new feeling. It is hard to get used to. I don't quite trust it. But I am trying to. We are taking leaps of faith. As all other situations prior to this, I am sure I will get used to it. I am sure this "pinch me, am I dreaming?" feeling will probably come to an end. I hope it lasts a while.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
Thank Goodness!
I am done with school and studying!
I have passed my state boards and am now a RN in the state of Oregon. It was a whirlwind the last couple days. It started on Wednesday morning when I was at my mother-in-law's house with two of David's sisters. We were planning out holiday festivities and I got the email. I had been cleared to schedule my boards. I ran over to the computer and looked for the next date I could test. I found out that I could test the very next day outside of Seattle. So, 30 minutes later I had booked a hotel room across from the testing center and was filled with nervousness.
I had been working towards this day for 5 years. David and my family have stuck with me and supported me through all the craziness. Along the way, I have cried, laughed, cried, had many sleepless nights and gained a best friend. Who knew that the girl that I met disecting a mouse that first day of anatomy and physiology would be my best friend for life?
Everyone that I talked to said that the night before do not study. Take the day off, do something to keep your mind off of things and have a glass of wine to help you sleep. I had been studying for weeks, since before graduation, but it was definitely hard to put the books down and not get one last cram session in.
I headed to Seattle. On the ride I listened to a sermon from one of my favorite pastors, Greg Boyd. It was all about freedom. I realized how afraid I was that I was going to fail. Even though I did well in all my classes and had great grades and had studied, I was still afraid. It was a huge opportunity to give my fear to God and just TRUST.
I got to the hotel room at 11pm and took a hot shower. I then curled up with a vegan snickers bar and a glass of champagne. The champagne made me nauseous (which is weird bc I love champagne). I ate the snickers bar and read my book until I feel asleep. I woke up at 5 am the next morning, I would say I was nervous but nervous doesn't even begin to describe how I felt. I convinced myself to sleep a little longer. Then at 6:15am, I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep any longer. I put on my running shoes and headed to the gym at the hotel. 2.5 miles later, I headed to the shower. At 7:20am, I headed across the street to the testing center. At one point in my walk, all I could think was "God, please do not let me throw up. I can't do this alone. Please just be with me."
Then I got to the testing center. After 4 fingerprints, a mug shot, 4 palm scans and one degree less than a cavity search I was in front of the computer. The NCLEX is an adaptive test, which means that depending on how you answer questions you either get easier or harder questions from there on. Also you can get a minimum of 75 questions or a maximum of 265 questions. Once the computer has decided that you have either passed or failed, the test shuts off.
I got 75 questions. Which to me meant that I either did really well or totally screwed up. I had no idea how I did because most of my questions were select all that apply, which are so hard. You can get 2/3 right but that 1 you didn't pick means you got it wrong. I headed back to the hotel room feeling some relief but sick to my stomach that it was over and now I just had to wait for my results.
I took my little sister to lunch and hung out with her for a couple hours, she is living in Seattle going to SPU. That was so much fun. She is such a cool lady and it definitely helped me take my mind off things.
I got back to Portland and went to my friend Emily's where I promptly asked her where her wine was. I had 3 glasses and enjoyed laughter and talk with her and a couple other lovely ladies. I got home and finally fell asleep only to wake up every couple hours and check to see if my results were online yet. I had even called David and asked him to hide my study book so that I couldn't go back and try to look up all the answers to the questions that I thought I remembered. Because in my mind of course someone was working at the Oregon State Board at 3am just to post my results.
The next day was TORTURE. This is putting it lightly. I was working, luckily my best friend Meghan was there. I don't know how she put up with me, I was a nervous wreck. Finally at 3pm, I called the Oregon Board just to ask when they uploaded new licenses (that is how you figure out if you passed, when the board gets your results they issue your license and then you can look it up online). After 5 minutes of being on hold, I was told that I had passed and that my license would be up that afternoon. I FREAKED OUT. Poor Meghan, I almost took her out in my excitement.
That night I celebrated with my wonderful husband, Meghan and her husband Will. Meg made an amazing dinner, bought me flowers, cake, 3 kinds of ice cream and a card. I am so lucky to have a friend like her. It was a great night. The perfect kind of celebration.
I have passed my state boards and am now a RN in the state of Oregon. It was a whirlwind the last couple days. It started on Wednesday morning when I was at my mother-in-law's house with two of David's sisters. We were planning out holiday festivities and I got the email. I had been cleared to schedule my boards. I ran over to the computer and looked for the next date I could test. I found out that I could test the very next day outside of Seattle. So, 30 minutes later I had booked a hotel room across from the testing center and was filled with nervousness.
I had been working towards this day for 5 years. David and my family have stuck with me and supported me through all the craziness. Along the way, I have cried, laughed, cried, had many sleepless nights and gained a best friend. Who knew that the girl that I met disecting a mouse that first day of anatomy and physiology would be my best friend for life?
Everyone that I talked to said that the night before do not study. Take the day off, do something to keep your mind off of things and have a glass of wine to help you sleep. I had been studying for weeks, since before graduation, but it was definitely hard to put the books down and not get one last cram session in.
I headed to Seattle. On the ride I listened to a sermon from one of my favorite pastors, Greg Boyd. It was all about freedom. I realized how afraid I was that I was going to fail. Even though I did well in all my classes and had great grades and had studied, I was still afraid. It was a huge opportunity to give my fear to God and just TRUST.
I got to the hotel room at 11pm and took a hot shower. I then curled up with a vegan snickers bar and a glass of champagne. The champagne made me nauseous (which is weird bc I love champagne). I ate the snickers bar and read my book until I feel asleep. I woke up at 5 am the next morning, I would say I was nervous but nervous doesn't even begin to describe how I felt. I convinced myself to sleep a little longer. Then at 6:15am, I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep any longer. I put on my running shoes and headed to the gym at the hotel. 2.5 miles later, I headed to the shower. At 7:20am, I headed across the street to the testing center. At one point in my walk, all I could think was "God, please do not let me throw up. I can't do this alone. Please just be with me."
Then I got to the testing center. After 4 fingerprints, a mug shot, 4 palm scans and one degree less than a cavity search I was in front of the computer. The NCLEX is an adaptive test, which means that depending on how you answer questions you either get easier or harder questions from there on. Also you can get a minimum of 75 questions or a maximum of 265 questions. Once the computer has decided that you have either passed or failed, the test shuts off.
I got 75 questions. Which to me meant that I either did really well or totally screwed up. I had no idea how I did because most of my questions were select all that apply, which are so hard. You can get 2/3 right but that 1 you didn't pick means you got it wrong. I headed back to the hotel room feeling some relief but sick to my stomach that it was over and now I just had to wait for my results.
I took my little sister to lunch and hung out with her for a couple hours, she is living in Seattle going to SPU. That was so much fun. She is such a cool lady and it definitely helped me take my mind off things.
I got back to Portland and went to my friend Emily's where I promptly asked her where her wine was. I had 3 glasses and enjoyed laughter and talk with her and a couple other lovely ladies. I got home and finally fell asleep only to wake up every couple hours and check to see if my results were online yet. I had even called David and asked him to hide my study book so that I couldn't go back and try to look up all the answers to the questions that I thought I remembered. Because in my mind of course someone was working at the Oregon State Board at 3am just to post my results.
The next day was TORTURE. This is putting it lightly. I was working, luckily my best friend Meghan was there. I don't know how she put up with me, I was a nervous wreck. Finally at 3pm, I called the Oregon Board just to ask when they uploaded new licenses (that is how you figure out if you passed, when the board gets your results they issue your license and then you can look it up online). After 5 minutes of being on hold, I was told that I had passed and that my license would be up that afternoon. I FREAKED OUT. Poor Meghan, I almost took her out in my excitement.
That night I celebrated with my wonderful husband, Meghan and her husband Will. Meg made an amazing dinner, bought me flowers, cake, 3 kinds of ice cream and a card. I am so lucky to have a friend like her. It was a great night. The perfect kind of celebration.
So thank goodness it is over. I am beyond grateful to all my family and friends who stuck with me through this long process. I am so thankful for my relationship with God, without which I would be in an insane asylum or bar drunk somewhere. I am so appreciative of my husband who believed in me all along the way.
I feel so privileged to even have had the opportunity to go to school and see my dreams fulfilled. I feel like I need to pinch myself...
I am back from the land of the nursing school dead... now we just need to get Meghan through school :)
Friday, September 16, 2011
TODAY IS THE DAY...
I get my diploma. The t's are crossed and the i's are dotted. Everything is in. I walk across the stage and finish this stage of my life. It has been a long time coming. I am so thankful for the support of my family and friends. So thankful to my God who was my strength and hope through it all. Thankful beyond words.
And ready. Let's finish this!
And ready. Let's finish this!
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